i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize