why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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