We're like a lot better than the average bears
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
