can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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