Buhtt sex?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
