How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
