I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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