I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
