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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"

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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?

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• (806): View more from Texas

  Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.

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• (212): View more from New York

  I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch

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