Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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