I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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