Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
