why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
