I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
