the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
