Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
