they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
