Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My bed smells like the plague
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
