Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
