No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
