oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have feelings that need drinking.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
