Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
