bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
