I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
