Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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