Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
