I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
