chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
