If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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