His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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