no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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