do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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