what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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