No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
