have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
