I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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