Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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