We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize