Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
