I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
