you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
