After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
