Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
