i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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