Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
