the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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