Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
