Walk of Shame. In a state park.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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