I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
