You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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