so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
