Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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