White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
