I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
