We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
