eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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