I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I can tuck mytits in my pants
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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