dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she told me i tasted like america
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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