I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
