so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i dont even know how to be here
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
