If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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