I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
