i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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