I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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