and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
